(By the way, I tried typing this with referring to Blue as "Big C" since that's what we had decided to call him on the blog..but I just can't! I keep wanting to type "Blue!" So even though his eyes are blue no longer, and he doesn't wear blue glasses anymore, his blog name is going to stay Blue. For now!)
I was doing really well before Blue's birthday. Sometimes in the days leading up to his birthday there is an element of sadness that I battle. I experience the bittersweet emotions of joy in our delightful little boy and sadness that he doesn't know his birthday is coming.
We took Blue to McDonald's the night before his birthday to celebrate with a friend from church who also shares Blue's birthday.
But then I noticed his big toe. The toenail was turning black and blue. And I didn't know why.
Right there, sitting on the floor in the McDonald's play place, the sadness jumped in. I felt horrible that I hadn't noticed when he hurt his toe. That I didn't know if he had stubbed it or dropped something on it or someone had stepped on it.
I felt horrible that I hadn't known he was hurt at all. And I felt sad that he couldn't tell me when he hurt his toe. Or how.
Not having full communication with Blue is still the hardest part of this journey. But while it's hard, I also know that when I am locked out and can't get past the communication barrier, God is not locked out. He knows Blue inside and out!
|Aunt Jenna knew a tractor toy and tractor book were just what this boy wanted!|
|New Signing Time dvd!|
|He loved it that we all were watching his new movie with him!|
|Apparently Signing Time dvds are totally awesome!|
|This boy loves his grandpa, or "pa pa" as Blue calls him.|